BOOZE OF THE DAY
Beers are easy so don't fuck around. Get up at any hour you want and pour it down your gullet. Simple as that! Any beer will do. No pesky stirring or depression from having to swirl an egg, make shitty pancakes, or burning that dry ass white bread toast. Breakfast from a bottle served! As the day unfolds after that first BB, the sky is sunny, flowers are blooming in front of your eyes, and that ex can just go fuck themselves because they were miserable cunts anyways. The future is brighter every day that you start it with a delicious breakfast beer. Don't be a snob, grab whatever your roommates left for you!
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​Recommendation of the week: Any Sierra Nevada Brewing Company beer you can hold in your shaky hand...NECTAR OF THE BREAKFAST BEER BELIEVERS BITCHES! Depending on your level of boozer status, I recommend starting with Pale Ale. With a 5.6% by volume, this beer supersedes the annoying coffee high you succumbed to at 3:30am. If life has twisted your already scrambled head, and you realized this the night/morning before, go for the Sierra NevadaTorpedo. You won't care about anything after 3 sips, not even that stupid, assfaced ex.
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Be Warned! The Sierra Nevado Torpedo is a day long commitment unless you are moving towards a Mendocino Brewing Co. Eye of the Hawk which will kill you or just make you shit your pants. Do NOT try to start with either of these and move to a PBR or others of the ilk. All of the good dreams you see at 6am, snuggling with the Torpedo or spooning that Mendocino Brewing Company EYE OF THE HAWK will leave dissipate, leaving you in tears 30 minutes after cracking those delicious, but inferior agro beers like PBR, Miller High Life, King Cobra, or OE 40oz..
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