top of page
HAZY PREDICTIONS
VISIONS FOR January 11TH-18TH2021
You are always getting too hammered. Keep up the good work. Stay away from vodka and bourbon and spend your pennies on high octane beer dumbass! Quantity over quality! Pay attention to the pavement, but not from a faceplant view Douchebag. Make time for the people you seem to hate because they are the only ones that love you. Keep in mind that you are not the most important human in this world.
Your "wannabe control freak attitude" has you confused. Focus on one buzz at a time and stop worrying about getting so fat and too old. You are doing both duh! Drink your impending doom away and flush it straight down the shitter. Cherish your mistakes now so you will appreciate the many, many more you will make. Your hasty decisions have cost you. Meditate with Jameson and set one goal. I am not talking about your daily booze goal. More important are the precious memories you want to create.
Sometimes you drink fine beer, and other times you go old skool. You began with and will die with proper ghetto etiquette, but you are not always tits up! Do some gardening before going to the pub. It is better to land in a thorn bush than in rose bushes. Find a lonely hag to fund your boozing this month. Be sweet and do not run out on the tab before using the shitter. Times are changing.
You cannot drink it all but you can try. This week you will succeed in getting chased by jealous ex bar mates and cops. Make sure you are dressed appropriately.
This is your happy week. Drink wine and quit calling me. Fucking right off is best for you this week. Missing the good times and what should have been do none of us any good. Stew your brain with Rye once you realize the wine is not working. Lucky number is 3.
I had a dream that told me that you are not picky when you have a chance to get lucky and thank goodness for me! Dump that white trash named bitch and get back to busy on me! That is what my dream told me...I hope this resonates within your soul somehow. Your week is about trying to drink enough cheap beer to get hammered. You have bad luck that will pass. Utilize your shotgun skills and aim straight. Otherwise, you will get fat before drunk.
Balance and harmonize this week with cheap-ass beer, great cheese and crackers, and a nice workout. Staying fit allows for faster liquor store runs. Be aware of the people that love you. They do not ask questions because they love you. They buy quality booze!
Ride fast and take chances ya fucknut! If you were not such a fuckin' boozer, you could ride faster and get hammered faster. You are on a nostalgic wave and want to take your time to get your dreams realized. Your dreams and your plans do not coincide with reality. You are amongst an amazing person, so keep driving them nuts and convince them that your eyeballs are way better than theirs. That will keep the party alive.
You are the saddest loser out there. Quit being nice to cunts and get hammered every morning. Your dreams are making you sad now. They are called nightmares and you live with them, so grow a nutsack! Look forward to a flower murdering dream and that glass house you desire. The people who think they know you are questioning their own assumptions. They lose!
You get more narcissistic with every sip. Play the lottery after 3 bottles of wine and lose...or maybe win. Take one selfish moment to realize that everyone else matters. You will meet the bottle of your dreams on Wednesday. Everything else this week is the same.
Stop adding more to your to do list and sit back and enjoy liquor, beer, and wine...all at once! That stupid list will disappear because your eyes will be bleeding and you will no longer be able to see it.
The beer and the dog have shrunken to squatty hallucinations. They will bite like giants tomorrow morning as you expel that large pizza from either your mouth, ass, or glands...probably all by the expression of that cute puppy. After a very long, painfully sad halucination, you will find that nothing in this photo ever really existed. Everything you know is wrong.
bottom of page